Why I Won’t Show My Engagement Ring on Social Media

Another day, another unpopular opinion. This piece originally appeared on Skirt Collective.

Why I Won’t Show My Engagement Ring on Social Media

As I’ve advanced into my twenties, the “I SAID YES!” posts have become ever-present on my social media news feeds. New engagements are born weekly, or so it seems. More often than not, the excited caption is paired with a photo: the couple, wide smiles glowing, or a man on his knee, the woman crying into her hands. And then, of course, there’s the ring.

It’s commonplace for couples to upload photos of the diamond, displaying the jewel on every possible outlet. Facebook. Instagram. Group text messages. The diamond is everywhere.

The news of the engagement, it seems, is not complete without the glowing rock to show for it. And this isn’t for nothing – people notice it. Many people want to see the offering that’s changed everything. I have friends who, upon hearing of someone’s engagement, ask immediately of the ring: “What’s it look like? Is the diamond big? Princess cut?” It’s the first thing that comes to mind – the main point of interest.

When I get engaged, I won’t upload such photos to my social media pages. This decision has nothing to do with embarrassment, fear of judgment or anything else related to other peoples’ reactions. It will have to do with me. It will have to do with my fiancé. It will have to do with our bond.

I know some people will find this stance offensive – they’ll think I’m insulting all women who have and will post pictures of their rings online. Some will think I’m acting upon a lingering jealousy – envy of expensive jewels or engagements in general. I’m not. That’s false. It’s simply a matter of principle: my engagement won’t be about a ring; it will be about love.

The emphasis placed upon engagement rings is, in my opinion, unhealthy and a perfect example of society’s obsession with material things. We’ve taken something as beautiful and romantic as a wedding proposal, and spun it to be entirely about a piece of jewelry: something concrete with an exact, measurable worth.

To me, a lifelong commitment is worth applauding. It’s worth praise and admiration. It may not have a price, but that’s what makes it so beautiful. Throwing an expensive, store-bought item into the equation – and giving it more worth than the relationship itself – is unnecessary. It’s the love that should be showcased, not the rock.

Our obsession with rings also adds a strange, competitive element to the entire engagement process. Not only are people judging the overall quality of one’s ring and all things that go along with someone’s “ring budget,” but they’re also comparing it to others they’ve seen, or the one they wear on their very own finger. Love should never be a competition, and yet some continue to think that a better ring reflects a better bond, a better situation and a better life in general.

They confuse love and jewelry – two things that are far from being synonymous. A couple with a tin ring could be monumentally happier than a couple in which a 14-carat diamond was exchanged.

We can’t determine a relationship’s quality by something as financially based as a diamond. But when we consistently pair the news of a wedding proposal with a specific type of image – one of a ring – we invite such comparisons.

Posting these pictures tarnishes the entire beauty of a committed promise to love someone else forever. So when I get engaged, I’ll let the outside world know that my partner loves me, wants to be with me forever and has taken a step toward a lifelong commitment. I won’t brag about the band he slipped onto my finger because, as far as our love goes, the appearance, dimensions and glow-factor of my ring will be entirely irrelevant.